Par Moi-Même
by caligirlsd99
Summary: As darkness closes in, taking me with it I surrender yet again to its cold grasp. The relentless wind nips at my ankles with each stride I stride I take. And each word that is exchanged shatters another piece of me. He will never love me, that much I know. "I want to hate her but I can't, she's done no wrong to me. I am the guilty one." Eventual E/M. CoverArt by AnneMarie24601
1. Chapter 1

Chapter: The little One All Alone

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Les Miserables**

I walk through the busy streets of Paris, the air is stale and everything that surrounds me is covered in dirt. I guess I fit right in. The people in the carriages look at me, as I am, the scum off the street. I guess if you're rich, everything and every one else is inferior to you. But not all rich folk are like that. Not Marius. He pretends to be poor, even though his grandfather is among the elite. But, even though he refuses a life of luxury, trading it to stand with the poor people of France as we rebel against the government, I still don't stand a chance with him. I love him more than anything, but it isn't enough because I can never bring myself to tell him.

I finally arrive at Le Café Musain, where Marius and Enjolras meet to discuss their plans for the day to come, the day where the people of Paris rise up to take back their freedom. Its naïve really, to think that we could defeat them, but yet we still try. I would rather die standing up for what I believe in than die standing by the hand of the French. Ever since General Lamarque fell ill, Enjolras has been saying that his imminent death is the sign we've been waiting for. We must stand now. He never talks of anything but the Revolution; he is determined to go against the government even if it means he would lose his own life. He's all business and nothing else, even the whores hold no place in his desires. But Marius, he cares about more than just the revolution. He cares about love, he believes in it just as I do, but sadly his love is for Cosette, the girl whom I grew up with, who no doubt hates me. Who could blame her, back then I was superior as she scrubbed the floor I walked on, I'm sorry for what happened when we were children, but she could never forgive me. Marius never stops talking about her, which leads me to believe she's all he thinks about. I was foolish to think my love would ever be returned. He may love the revolution but I will only be a revolutionary friend.

"Eponine!" I hear as I enter the room. I can't help but smiling when I realize it was Marius who spoke my name. To be merely acknowledged by him makes my heart flutter.

"Why so excited to see me?" I tease "Did ya miss me in the few hours we weren't together?"

"You always tease me," he said with a smile on his face. "But what you say is true, I have a favor to ask you."

Heh a favor, of course, no doubt it has to do with his "darling Cosette."

"Oh I'm sure you do," I say. "don't you always."

"What can I say Eponine, you know Paris better than anyone." That same smile remains. I wonder, is that smile for me? Or is his thought process still on Cosette?

"Yeah," I said, "So I've heard."

"I need you to deliver this letter."

I look at the name neatly printed on the front. I was right, it reads _Cosette_.

"I don't know where she is, Marius," I say with a concerned look on my face but something inside of me is relieved.

"Oh come on 'Ponine you always find a way, she can't be far. Someone must know where she went."

He genuinely thinks I can find her, or someone close to her. Perhaps that man who bought her from my parents. But I know that they travel together, her "Father" knows how to stay out of sight. I will never find them, but Marius wont rest until I try.

"Fine." I say as I grab the letter from his grasp.

"Oh thank you, Eponine!" he pulls me into a warm embrace that makes me feel as though it isn't true, that I must be dreaming.

But my happiness doesn't last; I remember that he only hugs me out of thanks for finding the girl he loved at first sight. What I wouldn't give to be in her place. I turn from him and go on my way. After what seems like hours of searching and asking street gamins and gamines where the blonde lark went, I was finally pointed in the right direction just as the sun began to fade and night was nearing.

_55 Rue Plumet_

The house just as I remember, was small and secluded, guarded by a tall iron gate and a garden that seemed to wrap around the entire flat, clad with ivy. This is the only place I can think of that she could be, whether it's to regain some of her belongings or just say a final goodbye. The cold winter air bites at my fingers as I admire the small dwelling. I blow on them to try and regain some feeling, only to find that my breath is just as icy.

Each step forward is another step away. Away from the happiness that I will never deserve but still yearn for.

Then a large wooden door stands before, daring me to summon the girl that would change everything. In one soul for the better, but in another, for worse.

I wrap my hand into a loose fist and timidly knock on the door. Silence, my only response, just as I thought; well, just as I hoped. I begin to wonder what is so important in this letter that merited my freezing toes. My curiosity gets the best of me and I open the letter and begin to read his careful penmanship softly to myself.

_Cosette,_

_ When the news came to me that you had fled town my heart sank at the thought of life without you. I hope that one day our paths might cross again so that we might spend our days together to grow in our love. My only wish is that while we are parted you will remember me in the way I will remember you. I knew the first moment I laid eyes on you that I was falling madly in love. Soon, I will go to the barricades with my brothers and fight for my freedom and yours in the revolution. As foolish as it may be, I will still love you blindly. _

_Love always,_

_Marius_

A single tear begins to fall down my face as I read the words he wrote. The words that no matter how much I wished were not meant for me. He would never speak these words to me. If only he knew the things I felt for him I thought then maybe, just maybe he might learn to feel the same way. But that hope was destroyed the minute he laid eyes on Cosette. Closing up the letter, I reflect upon my years of life. The memories once held nothing but sheer happiness, but now they serve to bring back by naive ways as a child. All of my life, I have served as nothing better than a blind girl, hopelessly lost in dreams. As soon as Cosette left, I abandoned my dresses and dolls for an apron and broom. Slowly, but surely my life flew into a turmoil, while hers only progressed. I want to hate her but I cant, she's done no wrong to me. I am the guilty one.

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_A/N: Chapter 1 is finished! I already have this whole story written, and so I will be posting pretty often. Review and tell me what you think!_


	2. Chapter 2

*** DISLCLAIMER * I do not own Les Miserables or any of the characters. **

Chapter 2

As I start my journey home I begin to cringe at the thought of Thenardier's drunken fury. Whenever I'm late like this he lashes out. If only Marius knew, then he would not ask me to run so many late night errands. My father doesn't beat me because he's worried, he claims he is worried but that's really just an excuse so my mother won't get at him. I wish I could run away and never return home, never return to Paris but two things hold me back; the fact that my father is sure to find me, and Marius.

My life did not used to be like this. My mother and father used to worship me when I was little, about six or seven. That was before Cosette left with that man. In Cosette's absence I had taken on her burden. As said before, my clothes faded after days of work and my once beautiful dresses tore at the bottoms. Until then, I never realized how terrifying it was to go into the woods alone at night, and how bitter the cold air was. Just as long as Thenardier isn't doing the chores, he doesn't care about the conditions outside. I'm still haunted by memories of being forced to work through sickness so horrible I could hardly stand up, and I got sick often from trudging through thick snow and wandering the woods during heavy rainfall.

Relentless. That is one word to describe my father, if he even earns that name. He didn't care then and he certainly doesn't care now.

I walk into our home—or at least what's left of it—to see Thenardier sitting at the poorly crafted wooden table, a large mug next to him. The room smells of fermented excrement. The dazed look in his eyes along with his uneasy demeanor suggests any moment, he could fall over. Obviously, he is drunk.

"Yer late." He could barely formulate coherent words.

"Yes I know I was running an errand."

"Did yer mother send you?"

"No."

"Then who did?"

"I ran it for a friend. Marius."

"Marius? That ignorant schoolboy? Why are you wasting your time with him?"

"He is not ignorant and he is not a waste of my time."

"Your just as pathetic as he is. I can't believe my own daughter, my own flesh, is aiding foolish boys who have never lifted a finger in their life. And without asking for anything in return! If you keep doing favors for the likes of him eventually you'll amount to nothing more than his whore."

Before I can stop myself, I strike him across his sour face. It takes me a moment to realize that I had stooped to his level of physical abuse. The only difference is I'm not drunk, I'm mad, but now he is too. I can see the anger in his eyes. I had really done it now. It made him look weak, even in his drunken state he maintains the belief that he still has some amount of dignity left. He won't tolerate me playing the authoritive figure. In taking the last swig of his brandy he propelled himself past reason. He threw back his arm and all I can see is his palm coming toward me before it makes contact with my face. The amount of force he used threw me back onto the floor. It stung but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know that.

"Is that all ya got?" I screamed at him and immediately knew the severity of the consequences of my actions. He lifted his foot, and kicked me in the side without restraint. As I feel the breath leave my lungs, I see him struggle to maintain his balance. All the more frustrated at his sudden lack of coordination, he resorts to punching me once more. Unfortunately for me, his aim was also hampered by his liquor. The punch intended for my abdomen, instead made contact with my jaw. Now rendered speechless and breathless, I lost the ability to fight back. I coughed and gasped for air, which is enough to convince him that he had won. I may be stubborn but I'm not stupid. There's no reasoning with a drunk.

**Heyy guys if you have story requests you can PM me or just write a review, I'm going to try and post a new chapter everyday. Enjoy and review(:**


	3. Chapter 3

*** Disclaimer * I do not own Les Mis or any of the characters**

Chapter 3

I spent the remaining hours of the night in the same spot on the floor my father had left me. I couldn't gather up enough strength to maneuver myself back up. As the sun arose I carefully inspected the bruises on my body. My father expects me to go into town everyday and come home with at least a few sous. He doesn't care how I get them, either I come home with something, or I don't come home at all. I'm already running late, usually I have at least half of my earnings by now but I can't go out covered in whelps and bruises.

I hastily attempt to cover up the evidence of last nights beating with a few scraps for fabric I found in my old clothing trunk along with a brown knitted shawl my mother had made when I was a baby. I have to make sure that none of my injuries are visible.

Whenever I go into town, I'm sure to run into Marius, and if they aren't covered up he wouldn't be able to restrain himself from getting into mine and my fathers business. Him getting involved would only result in and even more severe punishment for me.

Once I'm satisfied with the adjustments I made to my ensemble, I grab my empty pouch that by the end of the day should be occupied by my earnings and quietly leave the house, carful not to wake Thenardier.

It used to be a lot simpler to pickpocket, but ever since inspector Javert started keeping a sharp eye on me and my brother Gavroche, money isn't made, or stolen easily. Gavroche always banters with Javert, in an attempt to keep him occupied for a while so I can complete my "errands" in peace, but he's gotten wise to our plans and threatens to have the kid whipped the moment he shows up.

I walk out into the streets to see them full of people.

"_Good." _ I think to myself. "_Maybe I'll make a decent amount of money today."_

The vendors seem to be flourishing today so it's easy to pick up and apple or two without them noticing, I run into Gavroche in the streets and hand him my other apple.

"Here" I said " You need your strength if your going to properly annoy Javert today."

A wide smile appears on his face. He truly does enjoy irritating Javert; he is especially fond of calling out his bluffs on empty threats.

"I suppose I will." He said taking as big of a bite he possibly could before speaking again.

"Where's Marius on a fine day like this?"

"Umm I don't know," I say as I look around the streets.

"Oh well!" he proceeds to say ever so merrily. "He's just missing out on what looks like could be a successful day!"

I smile at him and he runs off "accidentally" running into people and when their money falls out of their pocket, pretending to fall, and picking it up. Gavroche does this not only to live, but out of fun as well. He's created a science out of ripping people off. I begin walking around gently picking up any change I can find out of peoples pockets, not really paying attention whose jacket the pocket belongs to. My once vacant pouch filled up quickly, and I knew that I could return home tonight. As I reach for another pocket a strong hand grasps my wrist and forcefully pulls me away as I wince in pain. I quickly turn around to see Javert towering over me.

"_Oh no." _ I thought to myself.

Javert pulls my pouch out from my jacket and opens it to see all the money I had stolen. There's no backtracking now.

" So, I see that you have gotten off quite well today." He says while pulling me toward the station. I can't go to jail. What would become of Gavroche if I wasn't there to fend for him? I begin to struggle against the inspector as much as I can but I'm too small and because of the recent circumstances, I'm too weak as well. I wont give up. I have to fight. I begin to kick in an attempt to release myself from his grasp but he's much larger than me. Soon, he realized that I wasn't planning on stopping anytime soon. He begins beating me not hard, but hard enough to hurt. At first, it didn't slow me down much but when he beat me in the same spot where my father had abused me last night, it was so agonizing that the amount of pain I felt caused me to scream. For a moment he left me lying on the ground but soon he pulled me back up by my arm and continued with me to the station. I gave up. I had to, what could I do now?

"Eponine!"

My head darted up and I began searching for the person who spoke my name, but I knew that voice. It was Marius. Javert stopped in his path and looked Marius with narrow eyes.

" There you are!" He presumed to say without even acknowledging Javert's presence.

" I've been looking everywhere for you! Do you have my money?"

I just stood there completely shocked not knowing what to do.

" Your money?" Javert asked

" Well, it's my grandfathers but I asked Eponine here to watch it for me."

" I saw her reaching for someone's pocket. She was clearly stealing, which is a serious offense."

" I was merely reaching forward to move through the crowd. I tried to tell you but you carried me off so quickly I didn't get a chance." I tried to sound as convincing as possible but I was still quivering out of pain, and my voice was proof.

"Well," Javert said with a calm voice. "I am terribly sorry for the misunderstanding. I suppose I just assumed the money in the pouch was stolen."

" That's not a problem inspector, you were just carrying out your responsibilities. I sure the people of Paris can sleep well at night knowing honest men like you are watching out for us."

The lies just seemed to slip off of Marius's tongue. I was taken aghast at how easily he fibbed. Javert simply nodded his head toward Marius handed him the pouch and released my arm. I looked back at him in disgust as we walked away.

"What were you thinking 'Ponine?" Marius said turning me back towards him forcing me to listen.

"I was thinking that I needed some money to bring to my father so I might be able to return home and spend the night indoors.

"As opposed to what?"

"As opposed to the hard ground and the cold night air."

" You have to be more careful! He could have carried you off!"

"Well he didn't."

I began to walk in the other direction in fear of the "Why did you scream" and the "Are you alright" question. He couldn't know of the bruises my father had left on me. But, there's no point in avoiding him. He chased after me and grabbed my arm, I turned around with and irritated look on my face. Clearly, he wasn't catching my drift.

"Don't you think I've been hassled enough for one day?"

I was surprised at how sharp my tongue was toward Marius. I never yelled at him. I pulled away but only for him to run in front of me making it impossible for me to get around.

"Eponine listen, You cant just go around stealing from people, you're sure to get caught. Again. I cant always be here to defend you.

" I don't need defending. I'm just fine on my own. That was just a small set back."

He rolled his eyes and I continued walking forward. I assumed either he moved, or I walked right into him. Nope. He started walking backwards just to try to get through to me. I tried not to make eye contact surely if I don't look at him I can dodge him. That's my way of saying I'm not listening and I don't care. Just as long as I keep a straight face, he'll go away. But he didn't. He kept on walking. I Looked down and saw one of the cobblestones was loose. Well, that'll stop him. He took another step back and sure enough he tripped and fell backwards but what made it even funnier is that he took a woman down with him.

"_Oh great." _ I thought to myself "_I suppose he's gonna fall in love with this one too."_

I couldn't help but laughing at him. He looked shocked laying there on the ground as the woman yelled profanities to him.

"Walk much?" I say with a grin on my face as I walk over his protruding legs.

"Eponine!" He yells as I run through the crowds_._ I look back and saw him struggle to get up as the woman sitting on the ground continues cursing at him.

"Sorry mademoiselle!" He said as he ran after me. If you even consider that running. More like limping. I made me smile because he was actually trying.

"Slow down!" He yelled.

"Never!"

Eventually he regained the feeling back in his leg and started running normally. He was catching up with me; I ran fast but he was faster. I saw him come up right behind me as he lifted me off my feet and threw me over his shoulder.

"Marius!" I said trying to sound serious but I couldn't stop laughing.

He continued to carry me off on his shoulder as I pounded his back with my fists.

" Are you trying to hurt me?"

"Yes!" I giggled.

He laughed and set me down.

"Here," He said while handing me my pouch.

"Thank you." I said.

I stood up on my toes and hugged him goodbye and he returned it. It felt nice in his arms. Warm. Safe.

"Goodnight Monseir Marius." I said as I released myself from his grasp.

"Goodnight 'Ponine." I turned from him and started home still with a smile on my face.

"Eponine?"

"Yeah?"

"Stay out of trouble."

"Heh. That might be impossible for me."

He smiled and we both went our separate ways.

**Hope you guys enjoyed it! Feel free to review, I'd love to hear what you guys think! And I'm so sorry for the long wait! I have been extremely busy and just now got time to post so, I will try and post multiple times today and some tomorrow.**


	4. Chapter 4

*** Disclaimer * I do not own Les Mis or any of the characters I am writing about**

Chapter 4

As I walked towards my home my smile overpowers my sense of perception and my heart and mind still soar as I recall the recent brush with Marius. The way he lifted me, the way we joked, all of it makes me so overwhelmed with giddiness. Whenever I'm with him, all the burdens resting on my shoulders seem to go away. I feel lighter with every step. Does he feel the same way as I do when I'm with him? No, of course not. He's in love with Cosette. He will never feel the same way. These thoughts bring me back to the cold harsh reality. They remind me that my life is full of misery with a scarce amount of perks, and that the only thing I have ever desired has been taken from me.

"_Gosh." _I think to myself. "_How do things go from being so wonderful to being so dreadful?"_

My thought process seems to stop abruptly as I reach the doorway of the old run down inn. As I turn the knob I wonder what horrors wait inside for me. But then I remember all of the money I collected. Surely Thenardier wouldn't beat me for making too many sous.

Then again, his reasoning isn't exactly impeccable. My father my mother and surprisingly Gavroche all sit at the table with a loaf of bread and a few apples.

"You're late. Again. Where's your money girl?" Thenardier asks with a pessimistic tone clearly expecting me to throw out an empty pouch.

It's right here." I responded as I pulled out the small leather bag. I didn't even bother to look down as I handed it to him, I would rather see the expression on his face when he sees the amount of money I made. But instead of shock, I saw fury in his eyes.

"Is this a joke?" He said dangling the empty bag in front of my face.

"What!" I carefully inspected my small bag and sure enough, there was nothing but two sous inside and a small hole in the bottom. Unfortunately it was large enough for money to fall out of it. No wonder I was feeling lighter with every step, I was losing my load.

"I swear father! I had money in here! It was full! It…it must have fallen out when.."

"When what girl?"

"Nothing. Never mind. I will just retrace my steps and go find it."

"How could you lose all of that money, Eponine!"

"I…I didn't know it slipped out!"

"You ignorant child! Could you be any more oblivious?"

"Yeah, 'Ponine could you be any more oblivious?" My brother echoed, a grin on his bread filled mouth.

"Oh shut up Gavroche you little traitor." I said while shooting him a look that said, "stop while you're ahead".

"We have expenses, Eponine." My mother yelled in my direction.

"And if you can't work to pay them off then you're just another expense!" Thenardier replied so loudly that I was sure people around us could hear.

"How can I be an expense if you don't even pay to get me a decent pouch! If it weren't for you being so cheap, you would have had a bag full of sous in front of you!"

Thenardier struck me across the face, throwing me back into my chair. I held my cheek in my hand as I sat there in agony. How nice of him to hit me in the same spot as last time. Like I wasn't already bruised enough. Before he could strike me again, I got up and ran out of the house as fast as I could. I can't take it anymore. I cannot bear any more pain. It took me a moment to realize how cold it was and how hard it was raining, but I didn't care. I was getting away from there. I was getting away from him. As I was running I heard a little voice from far behind me.

"Eponine!"

It was Gavroche.

For a moment I considered going back to him but he could survive on his own, he's done it for long enough. I continue running not knowing where I'm headed, I assume I'll know once I get there. I find myself stopping in front of a large abandoned factory. Desperate for shelter, I check every single door in sight only to realize that they're all locked. I'm soaked to the bone, I'm freezing, and I can feel a cough coming on. The wind speed begins to pick up and I pull my shawl tighter against my chest. Looking at my surroundings, I notice a small dark corner that is covered by the top of a roof. I slowly and carefully walk over to the area and sat down on the hard ground while leaning my head on the side of the building. At least the roof deflects most of the rain. I close my eyes in an attempt to get some rest and slowly doze off.

**Third Persons POV**

"She did what?" Marius said as he looked in shock at Gavroche.

"She ran! Right out of the house into the rain!" He was soaked. Not as wet as Eponine but he was still dripping on Marius's floor.

"Why? Why did she run?"

"My…my father, Thenardier, he we yelling at her for not making enough money today. There was a hole in her pouch and almost everything fell out. She crossed him and he hit her. None of us expected her to run away, it wasn't like he hasn't hit her before."

"He hits her?" Marius stood there listening in disbelief as the little boy told him of the recent events. "Why has she never told me?"

"Guess she just didn't want anyone to know."

Marius grabbed his coat and ran towards the door in a panic as Gavroche followed closely behind.  
"Hey what about me?" Gavroche said as he held his hand out toward Marius. "I get cold too ya know."

Marius ran into his bedroom and pulled out another coat for Gavroche. The little boy slipped it on and ran off. You could barely see his legs and his arms were completely covered by the sleeves. The jacket swallowed him, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Come on Marius! If were going to find Eponine then we have to hurry! Get the lead out of your pants and let's go!"

Gavroche ran out the door into the cold air with Marius not far behind him. He had a panicked look on his face as he stuttered to the young boy.

"What if she's hurt? What if she's sick? A young defenseless girl like her shouldn't be running out alone in the night! A mans intentions aren't always right when he sees a woman wandering the streets without another soul to be seen..."

"Would you stop Blabbering?" Gavroche's insult brought Marius back to reality.

"She'll be fine, she always is, I'm sure of it."

Marius noticed a slight resistance in his voice that hadn't been there before. Gavroche never second-guessed himself. This made Marius even more uneasy. He was genuinely worried about her. If something happened to her, he wouldn't know what to do. Marius closed his eyes and prayed to God that Eponine would be all right, and that he would find her healthy and safe. If only she wasn't already so sick.

**I hope you guys Enjoyed it! Please follow and review! I really appreciate your input!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer * I do not own Les Mis or any of the characters**

**This chapter is for my awesome Guest reviewer(: I unfortunately am unable to figure out how to do the accents on my computer.**

Chapter 5

I wake up in a panic to realize that I cant feel my fingers or toes, my shelter not being the abode it seemed last night.

The rain had stopped and the cobblestones shone in the night. If not for the knowledge that what made them shine was oil slick not moonlight, the sight would have been much more idyllic. Industrialization has turned this hellhole into a garbage pit.

As I sit in the cold night air I begin to feel more and more alone with every second. Oh, how I long to be in a warm bed right now, not having to fear the lashes I so often receive, how much I wish to feel safe.

I close my eyes and picture a burning fireplace, and Marius by my side having a similar effect of warmth. It all feels so real. Him, the heat emanating from the flames and for a moment, I even feel happy. I open my eyes and come back to reality. I wouldn't want to get caught in a dream world. I wouldn't want to get my hopes up.

Without a warning I start coughing violently into my palms, and in between every cough, gasping for air. A warm sensation trickled down from my palm streaking my wrist in crimson. My eyes have begun to feel heavy, and there is an unfamiliar throbbing in my temples, and every breath feels like my lungs are going to collapse. I lean my head back against the side of the building and try to get some rest, but the burning sensation on my forehead makes me feel as though my skull is ablaze.

Once the feeling of misery has subsided (though only a bit) I finally drift off into a light sleep, but it's almost as though I can still hear my surroundings. I hear a faint voice in the distance and I can see a silhouette of a man, but I can't make out what he's saying. The figure closes in as I struggle to pull myself up out of the small crevice I fit myself into.  
"Eponine!"

My head darted up at the sound of my name. This made me want to escape even more. I can't have someone stop me from getting away from this life I'm forced to live. I will not go back to that again. I pull my shawl closer and begin on my way. I try to run, but I'm so dizzy I just end up running into walls. My coughing returns and I can feel the blood spurt from my mouth and the air exiting my lungs seems to burn.

"Eponine?"

"_Oh great he's heard me now."_

"Eponine!"

Marius started running toward me as I turned and lurched away from him. I was doing pretty well until I tripped and fell on my shoulder. Pain coursed through my entire body and I lay there in agony. By the time Marius had finally caught up to me I was still coughing aggressively, blood spewing from my mouth.

"My Gosh 'Ponine," He said while lifting me off of the ground. "I need to get you inside."

"No." I managed to say through my coughs. "I'm fine it's just a cold, nothing else."

While one would expect to see concern on the face of such a friend, the expression on Marius's face was something much deeper. And that something more was reflected in his deep blue eyes that seemed to pull me further and further into a trance. Or maybe that was just the fever talking. I began coughing again and Marius could see that I was blatantly suffering.

He tightened his grasp around me and leaned down against the side of a building, still holding me in his arms. Soon realizing that there was nothing he could do to help me, he gently stroked my hair until the coughing stopped and I could breathe again. He stood up and carried me off through the streets.

"Gavroche!" He yelled while looking around for my little brother.

"What are ya screamin for I'm right here!"

Marius turned around to see that Gavroche had been trailing right behind him.

"You need to go, maybe stay with Enjorlas."

"I'm not goin anywhere without my sister!"

" I cannot have you getting sick too. Please. Go."

I looked at him and saw the worry in his eyes. My own brother, worried about something. The little boy who didn't seem to have a care in the world finally got a dose of the reality that life sucks.

"Fine," He said as he walked off occasionally tripping over the sleeves of what I assumed was Marius's jacket. I looked up at Marius who was still watching out for Gavroche.

"Marius?"

My voice seemed to make his head dart just as much as his voice made mine. I put my head back down, and after a moment of silence he responded.

"Yes?" His gaze caught my eye.

"Don't take me back."

"I wouldn't dare." He kissed my forehead and I slowly closed my eyes to rest in his arms. And even given the circumstances, I felt safe. In the midst of my life, only Marius could make me feel this way. Soon, we arrived at his suite above the café and he lay me down on the bed. I opened my eyes and saw Marius sitting on the side looking down at me with that same expression that hadn't left his face since he found me breathless after I almost hacked up a lung.

" 'Ponine?"

"Yes?"

"Gavroche told me why you ran off."

My eyes widened. Now he knew.

"Why didn't you tell me, Eponine?"

"Because I knew that you would worry!"

"Well of course I would worry! Who could blame me? All of this time Thenardier was beating you and you never told me? He's drunk all of the time and if he's mad enough he could seriously hurt you, kill you even!"

"You think I don't know that!" I yelled back at him with a strained voice.

"I think you mad not to tell me!"

"You don't have to know every thing about everyone, Marius! It was none of you're business!"

"He was hurting you! It becomes my business when he hurts you, Eponine! Don't you see?"

"See what?" Tears began streaking lines through the dirt on my cheeks. He was yelling now, which made me very uneasy.

"Why you should have told me! I could have done something about it! I could have stopped him, I could have protected you and we would have never been in this mess!"

"I can't help what he does! And I can't help it I got sick! I couldn't stand it anymore! I had to leave!" I was sobbing now as I yelled back at him. He looked at me again with that unexplainable expression.

"What is that!"

"What is what?"

"That…that look you keep giving me!"

He just stared at me in confusion, clearly not realizing what I was talking about.

"You know what Marius! There's a reason I didn't tell you! Because he isn't the only one who hurts me! You're just as guilty!"

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

"Ugh Marius! I wish you weren't so blind!"

The coughs came back at such a convenient time and he quickly rushed to my aid throwing out his hand to move in closer to me. His quickness startled me and since I was already so uneasy and under attack, or so it felt, I found myself flinching in the same way I do before my father hits me.

Marius jolted back and looked at me, wide eyed with astonishment. I just lay there, shocked at what I did as I looked at his distressed expression. I didn't realize what I had done had affected him so much. A tear ran down the side of my face and before I knew it there was a continual flow.

He moved over, much slower this time, and held me in his arms, going on about how sorry he was. He seemed just as distraught as I did. Tonight did a number on both of us. As I lay there in his arms silently sobbing, I felt a single tear drop onto my head. We both stayed there in each other's embrace and I felt the warmth of his breath on my neck, which sent a shiver down my spine.

We sit together in silence with nothing but the sounds of my sobs and his soft exhales. I am his company, and he is mine. When I hear his breaths grow even I allow myself to relax and enjoy the moment. Besides, who knows how many more opportunities I'll have in his arms.

**Hope You guys liked it! Sorry about Ch.4 it was sort of a filler chapter… It will get better I swear! Enjoy and Review! These chapters (having been written a log time ago) aren't as well composed as I wish they were and my shabby edits are disappointing but regardless I will try and do better next time(: If you want to read something that is written better, try some of my more recent stories (Crimson, and Corruption)**


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